# Awkward conversations are better than small talk Next time you meet someone new, ditch the small talk. Science says they--and you--will be glad you did. Instead of asking about the weather, ask about: - "What do you love doing?" - "What do you regret most?" - "Where do you see yourself in five years?" - "For what in your life do you feel most grateful?" - "If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future, or anything else, what would you want to know?" - "If you were going to become a close friend with the other participant, please share what would be important for him or her to know." - "Can you describe a time you cried in front of another person?" - "What's the toughest part of your job?" Research shows that, contrary to what we expect, going deep instead of shallow with small talk doesn't make people feel awkward, but more connected and a lot happier. Quote from the research: > The people in our experiments expected that deeper conversations would be significantly more awkward than they actually were. The overly pessimistic expectations about deep talk stemmed from the misplaced assumption that one's conversation partner would be largely indifferent to the interaction. > In reality, the other person also typically enjoyed getting beyond superficialities. > Our research suggests that the person next to you would probably be happier talking about their passions and purpose than the weather and 'what's up.' Deep conversations with strangers leave people feel just as positivie as when having deep conversations with a friend. They push us to be more thoughtful, and leads to more meaningful and fulfilling conversations. References: - https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5394dfa6e4b0d7fc44700a04/t/6154cbea752e6221f6e1a9dd/1632947178337/Kardas+Kumar+Epley+%28in+press%29+Overly+shallow+JPSP.pdf