# Long-distance relationship pitfalls - Moving too fast - Long-distance love is intoxicating. You feel all the exciting potential of the new relationship and face fewer reality check than if you met in person - There are fewer restraints on your imagination and words. It's very tempting to become too emotionally intimate, too quickly - The distance can force you to talk about all sorts of things you might not discuss if doing other things (or each other 😂) - With only voice and text, you can get to know someone's heart and mind at a very deep level, quite quickly - It's easy to abandon all caution and restraint and pour out your heart and your secrets. It's easy to talk about making serious commitments just weeks after the beginning - It doesn't help build something solid and real - It doesn't set healthy and sustainable communication patterns - Walk. Do not run. Don't dive too quickly - Take time getting to know each other - Don't say things over the phone you wouldn't be willing to say over the dinner table - Being blinded by the [[Halo effect]] - To avoid this pitfall, first recognize that it is happening - Remind yourself that noone is perfect. You *will* learn things about the person that you won't like - Do look for complexity and contradiction. Watch out for ways that person is different from you - Neglecting the rest of your life - A long-distance relationship is a rollercoaster - It's easy to feel that a lof of what is good in your life lives too far away - It's easy to skip all the things you would normally do and use your free time to talk, write or daydream about your partner - Avoid spending all your time and energy on your long-distance relationship - Keep your free time, keep your habits, take time for yourself - Focusing on your partner all the time is not good for you and won't be good for your relationship in the long run - If you neglect the rest of your life, you'll end up feeling depressed. You'll be subject to emotional ups and downs that come from being away from your partner - Stay in touch with other friends, have time, discover new hobbies. Develop yourself as an individual, do things that you are passionate about and that bring you joy - That way you'll feel better and you'll have more to bring to the relationship