# Why we stay in unhealthy relationships - Fear of being alone and assuming being with anyone is better than being alone - Activation of an attachment wound. Letting go feels like an important threat and feels impossible - Sunk cost fallacy. Already invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship and fear starting over - Holding on to the potential of the partner rather than the person actually in front of you - Attaching your worth to your relationship status - Although the relationship doesn't define us - This prevents us from making decisions aligned with our values and best interest - You don't know who you are outside of this relationship - There's a loss of identity and support system when going through a breakup - Emotionally abusive partner - This might cause you to doubt yourself and question your instincts - It may lead you to blame all that's not going well in the relationship on yourself, causing you to think you're the problem, not the relationship - You take the role of the peacemaker, caretake and savior - Confusing chemistry for compatibility - May push you to prematurely get attached to a fantasy rather than the person in front - Letting go of the relationship then means letting go of that fantasy and accepting it wasn't real - Hooked on the highs and lows - Partner runs hot and cold - You don't know when the next high will come but when it does, it feels special and exciting - This intermittent reinforcement can lead to difficulty of letting go of a relationship because you feel dependent on the next high - Believe that relationships are hard and every difficulty is just one more challenge to overcome - The thing is that a relationship shouldn't push you to sacrifice your values or sense of self - The relationship should be a stable and secure force in your life, rather than cause distress or disconnection from your authentic self ## References - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating/202203/11-reasons-why-its-hard-let-go-unhealthy-relationship